


36 Questions That Lead to What?

by Paradox (Sonno_Assassino)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, Art, Cuddling, Cute Nicknames For Karkat, Embedded Images, God Tier (Homestuck), I'm Honestly Just Adding Tags As I Write The Story, M/M, Meteorstuck, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Pictures, Repressed Emotions, They Both Comfort Each Other More Than Once, They Talk About How Scared They Both Grew Up, Troubling Mortality, dumb flirting, hand holding, karkat purrs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26096440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonno_Assassino/pseuds/Paradox
Summary: Dave invites Karkat over to his room in the meteor to ask each other a series of 36 questions that he found on the internet. The thing is, these questions get even more personal as they progress, and in the end they're supposed to make the participants fall in love with each other. Neither believes they'll work, but it's a way to pass time to them.---This is based on the "36 questions that lead to love" that inspired the podcast/musical titled 36 Questions. I recommend the musical to those who enjoy them, since it's a good listen.Also, this work is like 95% dialogue. I do describe important bits (or what I deem important) but I like to think that what they're doing is up to the reader!
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 23
Kudos: 139





	1. Dave: Convince Karkat.

\-- turntechGodhead  [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist  [CG] \--

TG: dude you will not believe what i just found  
CG: YOU KNOW, AT TIMES LIKE THIS I WONDER WHAT I DID FOR YOU TO BOTHER ME. I’M BUSY.  
TG: no you dont understand  
TG: this is the absolute shit we have to try it  
TG: i know you have like a weird thing for me so maybe i will be able to sway you with my rad strider charms  
TG: i am trying  
TG: its totally working isnt it  
TG: you went quiet  
TG: i bet youre on the floor from swooning so hard right now  
CG: WHAT PART OF “I AM BUSY” DOES YOUR PUNY THINK PAN NOT UNDERSTAND?  
CG: AND FOR THE RECORD, I DO NOT HAVE A “THING” FOR YOU. THE TIME WE’VE SPENT TOGETHER SO FAR HAS BEEN NOTHING MORE THAN MY “NEVER HAVING TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT BECAUSE I’M JUST THAT BORED” PLAN.  
TG: oh im absolutely sure youve gone through many arduous visits to can town with me  
TG: ill tell the mayor he was just another pawn in your big evil plan  
TG: his eyes will show such sadness that your obviously fake smile that you would get every time we hung out together will disappear  
TG: he will cry karkles  
CG: DON’T CALL ME THAT.  
TG: he will cry and it will all be your fault  
CG: STOP GUILT TRIPPING ME AND TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT. I TOLD YOU I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING, REMEMBER? OR DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU REMEMBER?  
CG: HERE, JUST SCROLL UP AND READ THE VERY FIRST THING I TOLD YOU.  
TG: ill get to the point then  
CG: THANK GOG.  
TG: so long ago in a galaxy far far away  
TG: humans loved researching the human brain  
TG: see what makes us tick yknow  
TG: well some genius decided  
TG: hey lets make these dumbass 36 questions and see how they affect people  
TG: i guess they knew what they were getting at  
TG: they mustve been all like  
TG: mr president we have scientists making questions that supposedly make people fall in love  
CG: FALL IN WHAT?  
TG: oh shit better keep that weapon underwraps  
TG: we dont want anyone manipulating that shit and making people fall in love with them by force  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: but mr president you dont understand  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: these questions are already available to anyone who can read  
TG: theres a study already out there sir  
TG: youve got to be kidding me  
TG: initiate the white house evacuation procedure  
CG: DAVE.  
TG: i will not be anywhere near this place when people start being all lovey dovey out of nowhere  
CG: DAVE SHUT UP FOR AT LEAST A FRACTION OF A SECOND. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH YOU THAT INVOLVES QUESTIONS THAT MAKE YOU “FALL IN LOVE”.  
TG: well were obviously going to try them  
TG: im sure its a dud or something  
TG: so youve got like zero reasons to worry  
CG: NOW WHY WOULD I EVER TRY THAT WITH YOU?  
TG: well for starters you won’t be bored for however long this will take  
TG: then youll also get to learn more about how humans think or something  
TG: considering youre a sexy alien from outer space im sure the questions wont even affect you even if they work  
CG: I GUESS YOU’VE MADE VARIOUS POINTS.  
TG: if youre able to resist the quite honestly love potion then ill dub you the most fierce troll in all of troll land  
CG: ALTERNIA.  
TG: gesundheit  
CG: EXCUSE ME?  
TG: nah forget it  
TG: this human shit is far too advanced for you  
TG: now get your pretty troll ass over to my room so we can get this show started  
CG: AS SOON AS I SEE YOU I’LL PUNCH YOU FOR *SOMEHOW* CONVINCING ME.  
TG: wasnt that hard  
TG: cant wait babe  


\-- turntechGodhead  [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist  [CG] \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter’s art is by me! It took me a while, but I’m happy with the way it turned out.


	2. Karkat: Feel the bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Talks of parental/guardian abuse; growing up scared.

Rapid knocks echoed through Dave's room. His special friend was always so loud, mouth or otherwise. He would be lying if he said he hadn't heard him stomping his way over from a hallway away. As soon as he opened the door, a short-ish troll walked in, a frown resting heavily on his face. Well, at least he was shorter than Dave.

“So here is my glorious being in front of your human eyes, Dave. Now please, do not tell me all we're doing is those stupid love questions.”

“Questions that lead to love. And yes, yes we are.”

“You are impossible.”

“I am irresistible. That’s why you ended up coming here anyways.”

Karkat glared at Dave before huffing and walking over to his ridiculously large bean bag. It was comfortable, but it could never compare to a recuperacoon. “So we’re really just about to sit here until we both answer 36 questions. Why do you want to do this?”

“Is irony a good answer.”

“It never is.”

“Fair enough. I guess I was curious, even if curiosity did kill the Karkat.”

“What?”

“Again, this human shit is too advanced for you. It’s like each reference flies over your head, which it totally does.” He went over to sit down on his bed, crossing his legs as he stared at Karkat. “Right, so,” Dave began, a light appearing behind his shades. He read the first question on his visors, glancing at Karkat occasionally. “First question. Hope you’re ready Karkles, ‘cause you’re in for a ride and you have to be completely honest. Given the choice of anyone in the world -- universe, galaxy? Whom would you want as a dinner guest?”

“Honestly? Huh. Alright, well, I’d pick my lusus. I... miss him. It’d be nice to see him again, even if he is a messy eater.”

“Well, I’d pick Obama.”

“Of fucking course. You can’t leave irony even in supposedly serious situations.”

“Karkat. What if I genuinely want Obama at my dinner table? Mr. President, please have more mashed potatoes. I made them with love for you.”

“Dave! You were the one that began this bullshit. Take it more seriously.” Karkat crossed his arms, looking between sad, disappointed, and, as always, frustrated.

“Fine, next question.”

Karkat grunted, covering his face.

“Would you like to be famous? In what way?”

“I always wanted to be a great leader.” Slowly, he uncovered his face, one eye peeking at Dave. “It doesn’t matter what way anymore, but I always wanted to make a difference.”

“I always dreamed of becoming this big-shot movie maker. SBAHJ: The Movie was truly a masterpiece that will never bless the eyes of strangers anymore.”

“I don’t know why I expected literally anything else.”

“Hey man, I’m not dissing your dreams of being the next Napoleon. Don’t diss my dreams of being the next Christopher Nolan.”

“Dave, you can’t compare yourself to troll Christopher Nolan.”

“That’s because I never got the chance.” He pursed his lips, feigning a frown and dragging his finger from his eye to imitate a tear falling down his cheek. “You hurt my feelings so much, honeybun.”

“Next question.”

“Someone’s excited. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? Does this even apply to trolls? Do you guys even have phones?”

“Communicators? Like our crabs?”

“I mean, yeah. I guess.”

“Well, no. Either way, you and I both spout the first things that come to mind.”

“Can’t say you’re lying. Uh, what would constitute a perfect day for you? Oh man, definitely going to Can Town.”

“So far, those are some of the best days in my life so I’d have to agree with you.”

Dave blew air out of his nose, signaling amusement. He almost smiled. Almost. In a split second he moved an inch closer to Karkat, making sure the troll wouldn’t notice. That was the whole point of the questions, wasn’t it? To get closer to each other.

“What’s next?” Karkat continued.

“When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? Does rapping count? ‘Cause if so, I was totally doing it right before you came here. The sick beats just can’t stop flooding my brain.”

“I don’t sing.”

“You do too.”

“Do not! What makes you think I do?”

“I’ve heard you while walking down to your room once.”

“Thanks for embarrassing me.”

“Don’t be. It was pretty sweet. Didn’t expect you’d have the voice of an angel.”

“Whatever.” By then Karkat’s face was fully uncovered and he was looking at Dave, his body facing him though his arms were still crossed. “It was what I was doing in my room. I was watching Mamma Mia and singing along.”

Dave genuinely laughed, Karkat immediately grabbing a dirty shirt and throwing it at him. “Hahaha, no, I’m sorry man. That’s so pure. That’s golden.”

“Shut up! Your lame raps are no better.”

“They’re epic and you know it.”

“Just continue and let’s forget this question.”

“If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? Man, assuming I was still mortal, I’d pick having the body of a 30-year-old for the rest of my life. I’d be a sexy dilf, don’t you think?”

“No. But I’d also pick body.”

“Reason being?”

“Ugh, do I really have to say that?”

“No, but it will make us spend more time on this.”

“I guess it’s because I don’t want to see myself grow old. There, I said it. I don’t have your precious immortality and I’ll probably never get it. Might as well die looking young. I don’t even know how much time I have left, Dave. I don’t know how many sweeps I’ll still be alive. It’s scary. It’s scary being a mutant.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Dave sat up, floating over to Karkat slowly. He sat down next to him on the bean bag, placing his hand on his softly. “You don’t need to worry about that yet, y’know? Plus, I’m sure we’ll figure out a way. I mean, what will I ever do if I can’t mess with you for the rest of time?”

Karkat looked down at their hands touching, frowning slightly. “I guess. Let’s move on.”

“Of course. Oh man, the next one isn’t much better. Maybe we should skip it.”

“Don’t skip it for my sake. I’ll answer. That’s the point of this whole thing.”

Dave sighed, squeezing Karkat’s hand. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?”

“I’m... pretty sure someone will kill me. I don’t know why I feel so strongly about that.”

“Well, you and me both. I either die heroically or justly, and both mostly involve someone killing me. Guess that’s just how it is.”

The two sat in silence for a couple of minutes, feeling each other’s warmth as they thought about how the other answered.

“Next?”

“Next. Name three things that you and your partner appear to have in common. That means us. We’re the partners. What do we have in common? You did say before that we both talk before thinking.”

“We’re both mutants.”

“Huh, I guess being albino does sort of make me a mutant. Lastly, we’re both knights.”

“Yeah. We are.” Karkat smiled slightly. He guessed he did feel a small bond with Dave with the things they shared. “What’s next?”

“For what in your life do you feel most grateful? That’s easy. Starting the game.”

“You’re glad you started your game session?”

“Yeah, sure. If I never had I’d still be living with Bro.” His eyes behind his shades were barely visible, but they showed a sliver of fear. “And I never would’ve met you guys and the others. Well, not in person. It also helps that I can now see the others be happy, like Rose with Kanaya.”

“You care about others but you always hide that. Why is that? You’re so secluded and hidden in your own mind.”

“Ah, ah, ah. Karkitten, that’s not the next question. Maybe if you get lucky I’ll tell you.”

“I know you’d save them in a split second, but for some reason you never show affection. It’s as if you’re fine with showing you care, but you’re not fine with showing you love.”

“Whoa there, we can save this kind of stuff for the last four minutes of our questionnaire. Let’s move on. Ah.” Dave stiffened up, his lips pursed as he read the next question. “Maybe we should skip this one.”

Karkat squeezed Dave’s hand, still holding onto it since he sat next to him. “Dave.”

“You’re gonna wear my name out from saying it so much.” A forced smirk spread across his lips, head tilted to look straight at Karkat, eyes now fully invisible.

“Why don’t you want to do the next question?”

“It hits a little close to home.”

“Well, you can ask me. I’m not dumb enough to force you to answer something you’re clearly uncomfortable with. If you really want to answer, you can do so in your own time. I can even wait until we fucking leave this meteor.”

He sighed, brows furrowing behind his shades. Dave only squeezed Karkat’s hand back, moving his other hand to cup it. He trailed little circles absentmindedly before sighing heavily and reading the question. “If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?”

“I’d proba-” Karkat was interrupted as Dave placed his hand against his face. It caused his frown to deepen and his lips to pout, but he respectfully shut up.

“I want to say this before I absolutely regret even thinking about it.”

Karkat nodded.

“I would change Bro. I would change him so that he could understand how I felt all those years that he- all the years that he behaved like an asshole without telling me why. All those years I thought it was because of me. Because I was at fault. In the end it was because of this game. I know I said I’m glad we started the game session because I don’t have to live with him anymore, but this game is also the reason he treated me like shit. And I can’t help but think what it could’ve been without the game.” Dave started shaking as his mouth spat 100 words a minute. Meanwhile, Karkat was in shock, unsure of how to react. “Would it have been the same fucking bullshit that I had to live through every day? All the beatings, the scars. All the times I cried and then proceeded to hide my emotions because I was afraid. Afraid that he’d see me and do something about it. That he’d-”

“Strider.”

Dave stopped talking, eyes blown wide. He looked at the gray hands clashing against his own white skin. “I’m so sorry, dude. I- I really let myself go there. This whole thing was supposed to be fun.”

“Shut up. You did nothing wrong, and your asshole guardian was the one at fault. I can’t tell you how he feels about it all, but I can tell you something that I hope will stop you from feeling alone: I know what it’s like to grow up feeling fear eat you from the inside out. You know I’m a mutant. I’ve told you the shit I’ve gone through. I mean, I never went out of my fucking house because I was so afraid of being found out. I hid it all behind shouts and anger because I didn’t want anyone getting close to me. It obviously didn’t work, but I like to think that the people that stuck with me are the people that consider me important to them. Someone to keep close, right?” He raised his unoccupied hand to cup Dave’s cheek. In the short time the questions had kept them busy, he already felt their previous bond becoming stronger. More resilient. He could feel something changing deep inside of him. The emotion flowed through his veins down to his hands and seemingly onto Dave. It was soothing.

“And that’s what you’d change.”

“Yeah, but it also doesn’t mean I let it invade my thoughts now.” He smiled softly, cuddling closer to Dave, a soft purr escaping him briefly. “Maybe we should take a break.”

“We should continue. If you want, that is. There’s only two more questions in this set.” Dave lied back, a small smile appearing on his lips as he let out the air from inside his lungs. He didn’t even know he was holding it in.

“Alright. What’s the next one?”

“Considering all we’ve talked about? It seems kind of unnecessary. It says: Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.”

“Wow, that does seem pretty unnecessary. Let’s move on then.”

“Drum roll please, if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? That’s a hard one.”

“Speak for yourself. I always did want to God Tier. Tune in with my Blood powers and all of that shit.”

“If I really, really think about it... I’d probably say that I’d want the ability to read people’s minds. I’ll never have to offer a penny ever again when I want to know what someone’s thinking. I’ll be swimming in my pool of ever-increasing pennies.”

“Forget God Tiering. I want to know what the fuck you always talk about.”

“Hush, Karkitty. It’s all human references.” Dave chuckled, finally letting go of Karkat’s hand, only to drape his arm around him to caress his hair. “And that’s set one. We should take the break now.”

“A much needed one, at that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art belongs to my friend @meowtherfuckers on instagram and @ilyvantas on twitter!! They were so very kind to draw the panel for me ❤️  
> A different version of Dave with curly hair can also be found on their twitter.


	3. Dave: Wake up.

Dave woke up.

Woke up?

Dave woke up and looked around, noticing his visors were now turned off. Huh, had he been asleep that long? Some of the people he talked to tended to go off on long paragraphs or sets of paragraphs and- well, it led him to having to set the sleep timer on his shades from 5 to 30 minutes.

He tried to stand up, but was immediately constricted by a heavy weight by his side that had an incredibly strong grip on his clothes. The troll looked peaceful as he slept, no angry wrinkles covering his face. Dave had to admit to himself that Karkat looked kind of adorable as he slept, but as soon as he thought that he realized they had both been asleep. Cuddling.

They slept together on his bean bag and woke up cuddling.

Dave lied back once more, his face blushing slightly from the shock factor. How long had they exactly been asleep. At the very least 30 minutes, which his internal clock agreed to, and Karkat showed no sign of waking up. Would it be safe to shake him awake? Probably not.

So, he lied there. Dave lied there until another half an hour later Karkat woke up. He did so begrudgingly, but Dave guessed that’s how he usually woke up anyways. Boy, that was a sight to see.

“Good morning, sunshine.”

“Shut your trap, asshat.”

“Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bean bag. Come on Karkat, don’t be so sour. I mean, we just spent like an hour sleeping together and this is how you greet me when you wake up again? You’re on a roll of destroying my feelings Vroombaby.”

“Wow, and here I thought your nicknames could not get worse.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. From here on out I promise to make them worse and worse. I cannot allow my ability of coming up with horrible nicknames to go unnoticed.”

“Ugh, did we really sleep that long? Together? What the fuck, how?”

“You tell me. We were doing the questions and we finished the first set and now we’re here.”

“Those questions are... exhausting. Not in a bad way. I don’t mind it. But Gog, I never thought they were going to be so hard?? I thought it’s be stupid shit like: what’s your favorite color? Not this.”

“You and me both, Vroomeow.”

“I take back what I said. This clearly is the worst of them all.”

“Well, if you don’t wanna hear them anymore we could always continue. Or take another break. I’m down with another cuddle session, dude.”

“Next question.”

“Yes, sir. Vantas, sir. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“That’s easy. My powers. I feel like I’m missing something.”

“I’d pick my future. I don’t know why, but right now it doesn’t feel right? Like something will happen? It’s like time Spidey-sense.”

“Spidey-sense.”

“It’s just some power this guy that was bitten by a radioactive spider has.”

“Oh, well thanks that didn’t help.”

“I should stop the human references altogether. I just feel like something wrong will happen in everyone’s future, but like, far into the future. Time doesn’t seem stable, but I haven’t told anyone.”

“Huh, maybe you should talk about this with Rose. Maybe she’ll know something as a Seer.”

“Maybe. It’s uncomfortable, so I’ll just move on. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? Well I do have something in mind, but right now is not exactly the right time. I am looking forward to that time though.”

“What is it?”

“That’s on a need-to-know basis and you don’t need to know. At least not yet.”

“Fine, you ass. I’ll wait. Personally, like I’ve said before, I always wanted to become a great leader. I guess I haven’t done it yet because I just can’t.”

“What are you talking about? This whole trip you’ve been a great leader.”

“That’s because you weren’t here before we got blasted on a trip that would take three years.”

“You know, some are still here. Vriska and Terezi are having a blast while Rose and Kanaya do whatever they like together.”

“Some are still here.”

“If you really want to think of yourself as a failure, then I say you’re not a complete failure.”

“I’d still like something new.”

“Well, when I finally tell you mine maybe you’ll strive for it, too.”

“Great. Can’t wait.” Karkat replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes and turning away to hide a small smile that was forming.

“Next is: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Oh, man. It’s obviously getting through this game.”

“And not dying.”

“So you think the same?”

“Ugh, with the way this game is? Who wouldn’t?”

“Well, that was quick. Next one. What do you value most in a friendship.”

Karkat shifted besides Dave, looking up at him focused on reading his shades. His smile from before was not gone, and it only shook a little bigger before he sheepishly looked away. “Well, I don’t know. I never did have a moirail until now.”

“What?”

“Fuck, did I misinterpret stuff? I was talking about you, but if you don’t feel that way-”

“Karkat, calm down man. Y’know I don’t know shit about your troll romance squares. You wanna consider me your moi-whatever, go ahead. That’s the best friend one, right?”

“Yeah, sorta.”

“Well, call me your whatever and that’s fine. I’ll just say something once we’re done, ‘kay? Cool. Moving on. Clearly you value rad ass dudes.”

“I value truth and care. You’re a knight, so yeah.”

“Yeah. I, uhm.” Dave bit his lip, trying not to lose his cool. “I value people who see me for who I really am. And you do that. Yeah. Next question?”

“Yeah.”

“What is your most treasured memory?”

“My most treasured?”

“It’s hard, but I think I can come up with something.” Dave started humming and bobbing his head casually, trying to come up with something to say. “Y’know, Karcake, I can’t say I have one. The good memories I have are all the same level of good. If that makes sense. If it doesn’t make sense I can totally rap about them.”

“Oh Gog, no. But is there nothing that stands out?”

“I wouldn’t say treasured, but that dick hopscotch we made totally rocked my world.”

“I really can’t expect anything more from you, can I?”

“You are absolutely correct, candy corn. You can’t.”

“Well, my most treasured memory was when my lusus picked me out of all the other wrigglers. I don’t remember it, obviously. But I’ve heard stories about “the dumbass lusus” that decided to save a mutant from death. I may have talked shit about him, but I really did appreciate all he did for me.”

“That’s cute, meow beast. But was? Are you about to leave me all high and dry as I beat my brain around trying to figure out what’s your new most treasured memory?”

“Maybe.”

“Ouch,” Dave furrowed his brows in fake pain, clutching at his heart. “Severely wounded. Mr. President, get the motherfucking heart surgeon up in this bitch. I’m afraid patient Strider needs a new one.”

“You’re such an ass.” Karkat pushed him away, laughing slightly.

“Well, I do have one.” With a wink and a smirk, Dave looked at Karkat. Yeah, that should be enough joking. “But seriously. You gonna tell me?”

“It’s right now, dumbass. I genuinely think this is a great time, mortality and other troubles included. Plus, I’m learning a ton about you, and I like that.” Karkat looked anywhere but Dave’s eyes as he spoke, looking a little silly. In the end, he settled on looking at Dave’s shoes. Wow. They were really bland. Why were they so fucking bland? Boring to stare at.

“No shit?” Dave looked a little shocked. The fact that Karkat considered what they were doing to be the most treasured moment made him feel something deep inside. Something like... excitement. He cleared his throat and began talking, “Remember when I said I was looking forward to something?”

Karkat nodded as he was paying attention to what Dave was doing through his peripheral vision.

“Well, it has to do with you.” He spit it out before he could think about something else to say. Shit, what Karkat said about talking before thinking was 100% correct.

The sudden words that came out of Dave’s mouth made Karkat freeze, but not before he whipped his head around to look directly at him. His heart was beating slightly faster than usual, mind flooding with possibilities on what Dave could possibly be looking forward to. He didn’t say a word, but he could tell his face said it all. After all, he could feel his cheeks and ears turning red.

“Whoa, wait. Karkat, calm down. That’s not what I meant to say. No! Well, it is, but I didn’t want to say it like that! Ugh, might as well wait until the end of the questions so you know. It won’t be worth anything telling you now.”

“Dave, what the shit are you talking about?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know why I started talking. Dude, let’s just move on.”

Karkat sighed and straightened out, flopping down unto the bean bag. He felt mentally tired. Not only from all the questions, but from all the thoughts about Dave that kept invading his mind at the most unfortunate times. “Alright, I got it.”

“What is your most terrible memo-?”

“When I ran a universe ending code and killed my lusus, along with all the lusus of my friends. Or maybe when I gave your universe cancer. Maybe when your Jack killed my-”

“Karkat.”

“What? You know what, Strider. That one’s definitely it. When your Jack killed my dream self. I didn’t go to sleep for days after that because I was terrified of what I would dream. Not only that, but I also felt betrayed because Jack was so fucking important to me and literally the very first time I wake up in Prospit I’m fucking culled like the rest of my friends. So, that’s my most terrible memory.”

“Karkat, Jegus. I was going to tell you to take it easy and not rush shit. Why’re you suddenly rushing?”

Karkat sighed, barely registering how fast he was talking to Dave. “I don’t know. I guess I just want it to end.”

Dave tightly pressed his lips together, frowning at Karkat. “You just said you were enjoying it.”

“No, dipshit! I meant I want it to fucking end because I’m itching to know what you’re looking forward to. To the point that I’m also looking forward to it without knowing what it is.”

Karkat’s words immediately soothed Dave’s face, ridding it of all wrinkles. He wasn’t angry, but the way Karkat phrased what he said had worried him. He didn’t want to force Karkat to do the questions. “Alright. Well. I, uh, my most terrible memory is when Bro died. Not for obvious reasons, but because I was filled with so many... conflicting feelings. Anyways!” Dave’s voice cracked slightly, which caused him to shrink into himself and clear his throat. “Anyways,” he began again, much more soft than before, “the next question. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are living? Why? Fuck, maybe. Definitely. I’d say some shit that’s bottled up.”

“Yeah, I’d speak my mind and then try to live my remaining days peacefully.”

“Quick. That’s not bad. Next one, what does friendship mean to you?”

“It’s something I share with someone that likes me for who I am? Not necessarily, but it’s nice to talk with friends about things and they won’t judge me.”

“Ditto, my guy. I’ll always appreciate a good cuddlefest with a good bud. But the socks stay on.”

“Is this another of your homophobic jokes?”

Dave shrugged, moving to the next question. “What roles do love and affection play in your life. It’s very minimal, but again, cuddlefests are fucking **it** man.”

“Love and affection isn’t really something that you can find naturally in troll culture. It’s always exclusively for red quadrants. So I guess in my life it’s also been minimal.”

“Maybe that’s why we work so well together.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Karkat deadpanned. “I think it’s because we’re both awfully stupid.”

“Point taken. Alternate sharing something you consider to be a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. Huh. I’m curious.” Dave turned at Karkat, a mischievous little smile on his lips.

“Yeah, me too. I’d love to hear what you have to say about me.”

“Alright, one: the way you defend yourself is epic. Verbally and otherwise.” Dave started, both going after the other.

“One: the way you keep your calm in a lot of situations is admirable.”

“Two: I think it’s nice that you go with what The Mayor says and does.”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point.”

“Two: Your god tier clothes are awesome. As hard as it is to admit.”

“I’ll lend them to you someday. They’re super cozy.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Three: I admire your devotion to trying to keep everyone safe.”

“Even if I failed...?” Karkat slouched down, fidgeting with his hands.

“Of course.”

“Well, three: I admire how encouraging and caring you can be, even if you hide it.”

“Four: I like your clothes, man. You look so fucking comfortable all the time.”

“Four: I actually like your glasses, believe it or not. They do wonders to hide your ugly face.”

“Five: I love your uniqueness. I imagine mutants don’t last long. I guess you could say I like that you’re a mutant.”

Karkat shuffled around, blushing upon hearing what Dave said. He sounded so sincere. Did he really mean it?

“Five: I love your eyes... Or at least what I can see.”

Dave tensed up after hearing Karkat, only to immediately relax because he understood he meant it genuinely. He thanked him quietly before reading the next question. “How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? Ha! Man, we both know the answer to the other’s question. Moving on. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? What? Nonexistent, even if I guess Rose’s mom was my ectomom, too.”

“The lady guardian?”

“Yeah, her.”

“Well, I don’t have a mother so this question is kind of useless, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, pretty much. That was the end, too. Man, what a weak finish. We should take another break.”

Karkat hummed, thinking about the previous questions. “Do you actually like that I’m a mutant?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about something like that.”

“Huh... well, wanna watch a movie during our break?”

“I don’t see why not. Shitty movies always cheer me up.”

“Let’s judge one of Egbert’s stupid movies.”

“Hell yeah.”


	4. Karkat: Wait for the moment.

“That was by far the shittiest movie I have ever seen.”

“Dave, we’ve seen this movie thousands of times when we’re bored.”

“Yeah, and every time it gets worse. I love it.”

Karkat chuckled, closing his husktop and sitting up, uncovering himself from Dave’s cape. At one point during the movie they had decided their butts had started hurting from sitting down on the bean chair and that they had to move to the bed. There they just lied together, watching the shitty movie that only got shittier the more they watched it. Dave followed Karkat, pulling his cape away so it lied comfortably behind the both of them.

“Well, I guess that’s the break? All that’s left is the last set. Do you feel like starting it yet?”

“I think Egbert’s movie killed enough of my brain cells so now I will be able to live through it rather nicely.”

“Then let’s start. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling...”

“We are both in this room feeling comfortable?”

“We both have similar priorities.”

“We both look out for the other.”

“We’re both the Knights of our sessions.”

“We’re both different.”

“We both survived.”

“I guess in the end it’s all pretty repetitive, huh? Do you feel like you’ve learned anything new about me.”

“Let’s see muffin cheeks. I wouldn’t say much about learning new stuff, but I feel like I’m learning about how you feel about things I already knew about. Does that make sense?”

“Don’t worry. I understand.”

“Next question... Complete the sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share...’”

“Shitty moments with.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Someone that I can be with when things get shitty and they’ll make it at least slightly less shitty.”

“I wish I had someone with whom I could share my life with. Next,” Dave didn’t even stop to let Karkat mention anything about what he said and instead continued with the questions. “If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him to know.”

“That my anger is not all there is to me.”

“Of course, I already know that. Just like you know that my irony is not all there is to _me_.”

“You know, Dave. This whole game seems to be asking questions that we already know about each other one way or another. I feel like I could even guess your answers to whatever’s coming.”

“Well, it’s not really supposed to be intended to be done by people who’ve known each other for years.”

“Then why did you want to try it out with me?”

“Who else was I supposed to try it with? The Mayor? Plus, you can’t deny that it’s been fun munchkin cakes.”

“No, I really can’t.”

“Great. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”

Karkat crossed his legs and hunched over, covering his face with his hands. Though his words sounded muffled, they were still understandable. “I like you. All of you. Stupid irony and all.”

“Well... Karkat. I like you too. Frowning and all.”

Karkat pushed Dave jokingly, who only replied with a soft chuckle as he looked at Karkat. His smile for his was pure and tender, unlike any of his smirks that he’d hand out to anyone that crossed his path. He never thought how Karkat was the only one that got him to smile like that, but he guessed the questions were making him think more deeply about certain stuff.

“Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life,” Dave continued.

“God, when dumbass Egbert threw that god-awful bucket at me. I can’t understand how you guys can just look at them normally! It’s too lewd.”

“Alien culture, shooting star. I’ll never get it. Huh, I guess for me it has to be the time I found all those old selfies of myself. Still regret crying over that.”

“I don’t know why you cried exactly, but if you had a reason I don’t understand why you’d pick it as an embarrassing memory.”

“Well, I guess that’s good to know since the next question is: When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?”

“Before the meteor trip when Kanaya... died.”

“The selfies. Yeah.”

“No need to talk about it?”

“Don’t worry, I solved it. Moving on, tell your partner something that you like about them already.”

“There is a ridiculous amount of questions that have to deal with things we already know. And haven’t we already told each other what we like about the other? It’s too repetitive.”

“Yeah, I already know you like my Strider cool.”

“I do think your Strider lame is pretty lovable, Dave. Thank you for reminding me.”

“Ouch. But you’re right. These questions seem pretty useless.”

“And why did we do this again?”

Dave shrugged, looking away from Karkat. No hope in explaining it to him. Might as well finish what they’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time on. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? I don’t know, I kinda like dark humour and that touches heavily on what most people consider untouchable for jokes.”

“Alternians don’t really have anything like that. Fuck, even Vriska joked about Tavros being crippled and Terezi being blind and she’s the one that did that to them!”

“The caucacity of that bitch.” After a second of pure silence Dave burst out laughing, which only made Karkat look at him petrified. Yeah, there was no way he would understand _that_ human reference. No way. He wouldn’t even know Vriska behaved like a white bitch.

“What the fuck are you laughing about. No one said anything funny, you acute dumbass.”

“Pchooooo! Joke, right over your head, horns and all.”

“I hate you.”

“You absolutely adore me.”

“Just move on!”

Dave sighed deeply, subsiding his laugh to a light chuckle. That one was sure golden. “Alright, alright. Fuck dude. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? My answer is the surprise for the end, this is not fair. Mr. President, why didn’t you ban these questions.”

“Shut the fuck up. Just don’t answer you whiny wriggler. I would regret not having told you that. You’re always blabbering and whining.”

“Untrue and uncool. A two hit combo of death.”

“Move on, Dave.”

“Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? Rose, she’s a goddess now. Man, these questions really are not meant for us.”

“Nope.”

“Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen. No, dude. We are not doing this for the one thousandth time. Let’s skip to the end.”

“This is the last question, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank Gog! I felt my life sweeps shrink the more it drew out.”

“You seem happy. Glad you’re not gonna spend all this time with the cool me?”

“No, no. It’s obviously not that you bulge nipple.”

“Creative.”

“I’ve just been really curious this entire time.”

“I guess I won’t be able to convince you to have another break before we finish this up?”

“I thought that was all?”

“No, we still need to lovingly stare into each other’s eyes like there’s no tomorrow. Baby, my eyes are your life source.”

“Dave, I think this is where you go completely bonkers because you are wearing sunglasses and all that I see is my angry reflection staring back at me.”

Dave turned his body fully, reaching out to hold Karkat’s hands. “We’re doing this man. We’re making this happen.”

“I’m going to ignore you just had the fucking audacity to say that.” Karkat groaned, switching his full attention to their hands intertwined together. “So you’ll take them off?”

“What else? Of course I will, .” Dave reached up, hands clasping his glasses. With a small smile he took them off, looking straight into Karkat’s eyes.

Before that moment Karkat had never stared into Dave’s eyes, only having caught glimpses from time to time. Actually staring into them brought so many different emotions that he could not fully process in the moment. For a second, he’d thought he’d actually cry.


End file.
